the fanfic hive | of weddings, friends and donkeys

Rating: PG. One kiss, eek!

Disclaimer: I don’t own PotC or Jack. *grumbles sulkily* The Disney Company does. Some people have all the fun.

Pairing: Bit of Will/Elizabeth

Genre: Humor, general, romance.

Summary: The word has it that Captain Jack Sparrow's certain two friends are about to tie the knot. But where the heck is his invitation to the wedding?! What's a pirate to do but to drop by Port Royal and ask?


* * * * *

The velvety blue night slowly descended over the town of Port Royal, its activities gradually settling down as the evening dimmed minute by minute. The taverns were, however, quite full of life and drunken laughter that would continue through the night. Those of the fairer sex who earned their keep during the hours of darkness over less decent ways, started to leisurely stroll the streets and woo men craving company straight into their arms. Light breeze flew from Caribbean Sea, gently bending palm branches and ruffling the leaves of green bushes. It was a beautiful night; the sky was clear and the stars were twinkling merrily across its inky vastness.

But the lone figure moving silently along the sandy beach near the dock paid no attention to the undeniable beauty of the Caribbean night. Halting his steps momentarily to give a cursory look at his surroundings, he swept his sharp gaze across the nearly empty dock and the streets lined with lush flora. His kohl-brimmed eyes followed the road leading away from the docks, travelling over the bridge he’d once ran across while dodging bullets. Boyish grin spread on his lips as he recalled the incident, broad enough to reveal few teeth capped with gold. With a last glance back towards the small row boat he’d hidden in the bushes by the beach several feet away, the man turned his attention back towards the town itself. With one grimy hand, he pushed off the offending branches that kept getting in the way of his vision. The dock was empty save for few sailors and, he narrowed his eyes, two naval soldiers in their red uniforms, muskets resting over their shoulders. Nothing he couldn’t handle, in other words.

Stealthily, Captain Jack Sparrow of the notorious Black Pearl continued his was along the beach, shadows of the jungle-like foliage effectively hiding his presence. As he steadily got closer and closer to the town, the small smile playing upon the corners of his mouth morphed gradually into a full blown, smug grin. The idea of appearing in Port Royal again, right under Commodore Norrington’s nose, appealed to the pirate immensely, making him want to chuckle out loud like a mischievous little boy about to pull a prank on his big brother. The kick Jack got from thinking about Norrington’s face when he found out that a wanted pirate had slipped in and out of town was undeniable, making his resolve to complete his visit even stronger.

After a good while of slinking in the shadows, Jack promptly stepped off the bushes and onto the sandy street on the outskirts of the town, in a completely careless fashion; there very well could have been a dozen of Norrington’s men patrolling that exact street on that exact moment. Brushing unseen dust off the left arm of his dark coat, he sniffed and held his head up high, starting to strut along the road in his typical swaying manner.

It had been nearly five months since the little venture with Will to save his bonny lass Elizabeth from that bastard Barbossa (may he rot in hell), whom the lad was going to marry tomorrow afternoon. That did not surprise Jack in the least, after all they were constantly all over each other, but one this was utterly incomprehensible to his mind;

Why in the bloody hell was he not invited to the wedding?!

And to think these people were supposedly his friends. Granted, his face was not too popular around here after his astoundingly exceptional escape (Alright, so Will helped just a tad bit, Jack amended) from the noose, but that was no proper excuse. His invitation had probably just gotten lost along the way to him, Jack was certain of it. It happened all the time, sloppy second-hands paid to pass something on took the money but forgot about the whole thing right after the money touched the palms of their hands.

Jack Sparrow of course, had his way of hearing things; as soon as the particular piece of information about Governor Swann daughter’s wedding reached his ears few days back, he’d immediately boarded the Pearl and turned her towards Port Royal. Anamaria had called him some interesting names, then!

But if there was something Jack loved besides his ship, it was weddings. He absolutely loved weddings.

And what kind of a scallywag would miss out on a friend’s wedding? One that doesn’t appreciate the prospect of free drinks, and Jack Sparrow was far from that description. Nevertheless, unfortunately the particular event of Will and Elizabeth’s wedding is undoubtedly going to be a bit too high and swanky for Jack’s tastes. And as far as the appearances went, he didn’t exactly have a chest full of “proper” clothing stashed away in his quarters aboard the Pearl. Even the mere thought of having to put on something as horrendous was enough to make Jack shudder in repulsion and poke his tongue out in disgust.

That, and Norrington would prolly have him shot at sight. One part of Jack was incessantly curious about what the Commodore would actually do if he did show up, scandalizing the event a bit; making witty (doubtlessly one-sided) small talk with the dignified folk, drinking down everything even a bit more potent than water and or course, wooing the ladies (and probably exposing his cheeks to more abuse). He chuckled blithely at the vision, but eventually decided not to tease the odds when his own well-being was at stake.

Anyway, it all came down to one thing; principle. Never mind that he couldn’t actually participate in the ceremony; it was a common courtesy to invite friends. Not that he was ever too big on courtesy, and he was even less common, but those points could be forgotten momentarily. Besides, had not he agreed to help Will, the possibility for any wedding to take place in the first place would be slim to nil. So all in all they had him to thank for actually experiencing their own wedding; the least they could do is to invite him in it.

Jack had now made his way well into the town, and so far everything was just peachy. He was actually somewhat surprised nobody had noticed him yet, or that he hadn’t stumbled into one single redcoat. Jack felt even mildly disappointed. It had been a while since he’d experienced the heady adrenaline rush of a good escape, one that (of course) always ended up in his favour. This town was utterly boring.

The road curved sharply to the left ahead of him, disappearing behind a lightly coloured building. The blacksmith’s was not too far away after that. As Jack closed in on a curve, sudden footsteps in otherwise relatively silent night coming behind the curve caused his muscles to tense slightly in anticipation. Stopping and listening closely with his head tilted to the side, Jack now recognised the tell-tale sound of someone correcting the position of a musket he’s obviously carrying, and the distinguishing stomp of boots. After years of pirating, one tended to learn to identify such small but distinctive sounds. Mariners.

With a small grin, Jack quickly took advantage of the shadows and the huge barrels loaded on the right side of the street, resting close to the wall of the building beside. The towering pile of barrels was just high enough to hide him, and almost giddily Jack whirled himself behind the barrels in a surprisingly graceful move, pressing his back against them just as the soldiers rounded the corner and marched past the spot Jack had stood only seconds ago. Jack watched as the two soldiers continued to march side by side along the street chatting to one another on the way, growing the distance between them. Jack raised his brows. It was really a wonder Port Royal wasn’t more pirate-infested when the mariners were that attentive on their patrol.

With his back firmly pressed against the barrels, Jack took several small steps to left, almost tip-toeing around the barrel until he was in the middle of the street again. The characteristic grin graced his features again. “And really bad eggs…” he murmured in low voice, and took one, exaggeratingly long step before continuing to traipse along the street again, humming the song under his breath.

Jack suddenly had the strongest urge for some good rum, and wished he’d brought a bottle with him. Or at least a flask. Anything. Thinking about it, Jack’s eyes widened in appalled manner as he realized the last time he’d had any rum was nearly six hours ago. Six bloody hours! Definitely not good. Promising himself plentiful amounts of rum immediately after he got back onboard the Pearl, Jack halted his steps as he arrived to the tacky statue he’d hid behind after he escaped Norrington’s men the last time.

Glancing at the sign hanging over the door of the workshop, Jack’s head jerked back slightly in surprise, and then he grinned again. W. Turner. Well, well! The whelp had himself a very own smithy nowadays. Good for him, Jack thought. He never really liked the old man Brown to begin with. Sure, the fellow seemed like he had his drinking habits right down to a pat, but smashing a bottle over someone’s head wasn’t very nice. Jack sincerely hoped the bottle had at least been empty, because if not, that would have been serious misuse of perfectly good alcohol.

Confidently, Jack strode to the door, cautiously pushing it open. He’d never admit it, but he was slightly wary of getting another sword thrown at him or something for the intrusion. Stepping into the dim workshop, Jack quickly glanced around, searching for the familiar face. Closing the door behind him, he frowned thoughtfully as he saw nobody inside. The tools were scattered around in a way that suggested they had been used recently (Jack was willing to bet Will would put them on their rightful places before leaving) and the coals glowed in the fireplace. Swaying down the few steps, he slowly strolled around, absently rolling his wrists and twirling his fingers slightly as he did so. Stopping in front of the rack with various blades in it, Jack ran a grimy forefinger lazily over one shining blade. Jack wondered where the lad was; it was unlike Will to leave the door unlocked like that if he were to leave.

He jumped in surprise as a sudden neigh shattered the silence, unsheathing his cutlass and whirling around in a lightning quick movement.

It was that donkey, half-hidden in a dark corner, staring at Jack.

“Bleeding devil foal,” Jack muttered sourly under his breath, sheathing his blade and glaring at the animal. How the hell had he missed it? It wasn’t harnessed on the wheel-thingy, but munched on some hay in a remote corner, staring at Jack unblinkingly. Jack blamed the lack of rum about failing to notice the animal as he came in.

Jack narrowed his eyes at the animal. The donkey flattened its long ears in a threatening way, seemingly remembering the last encounter with the pirate. Jack raised a dubious brow. That bloody cad didn’t plan on doing anything stupid, did it…? With an angry snort, the donkey took a quick half-step ahead in rather peeved manner.

“Whoa!” Jack yelled and scrambled back a few steps, thinking the animal is about to attack. “Now, now, let’s no be hasty, mate. Are you still angry about that last time? It was nothing personal, really…” Jack laughed feebly, retreating slowly. The donkey neighed and snorted again, sounding too much a like a mockery in Jack’s opinion. Jack didn’t like that at all, not one bit.

“Oh, yeah?” Jack growled defiantly, his irritation sparked. Quickly grabbing the familiar metal rod from the red embers, and held it up for the donkey to see, the end glowing. “You wouldn’t want another dab from this, now would you?” Jack drawled, waving the rod back and forth.

The animal twitched, black eyes widening in fright as it backed down quickly. Jack’s smirk grew, and he dropped the rod back on the coals. “I thought so,” he said, watching the animal closely for few moments. After convincing that it would stay put, Jack strolled towards the small wooden chair on the right side of the door, against the wall.

“No bloody animal ridicules Captain Jack Sparrow…” he muttered as he sat down on the chair, throwing a warning glare towards the corner where the donkey stood, presuming its hay-munching.

Deciding he might as well wait for a moment in case Will would happen to turn up, Jack casually propped his right ankle over his left knee. Glancing around the dim smithy, Jack again pondered what had been so urgent that Will would leave the door open. And at this hour?

Maybe something has happened, he thought absently.

To who? A voice inside his head asked.

To Elizabeth, of course! Who else would be so important that he’d just abandon everything and hasten to her rescue?

Again? The voice said suspiciously.

Well, the lass is reasonably accident-prone, is she not?

Noises behind the outdoor brought Jack’s dialogue with himself to an abrupt end, and instinctively his hand dropped on the hilt of his cutlass. To say he was taken aback when the door opened was mildly put; he’d never seen neither Elizabeth nor Will act quite so… uninhibitedly.

Elizabeth was giggling softly over something, holding onto Will’s hand as he shut the door behind him. They were so engrossed with each other that neither of them seemed to notice the pirate sitting on a chair in the shadows. Jack remained silent, observing them with small smirk. Will was smiling more brightly than Jack had never seen before, gazing lovingly down at Elizabeth. She hugged Will suddenly, and Will returned the embrace. Jack waited. Any minute now they’ll notice him, and he’ll have himself a good laugh.

But no. Will bent down to kiss Elizabeth, Jack rolled his eyes; his patience was wearing thin. Waiting for them to separate, Jack silently drummed his fingers on his bent knee. As he watched Will and Elizabeth wrap their arms around one another and deepen the kiss, he decided he’d had enough. As interesting as this little display of mutual love was, Jack had seen enough.

“Ah, young love. So touching,” Jack drawled in rough voice, finally announcing his presence.

Jack grinned broadly in amusement as both Will and Elizabeth sprung away from each other, startled by his voice. Whirling around to face him, they both wore similar kind of expressions of stunned surprise. Elizabeth was the first to recover from her shock.

“Jack!” She exclaimed, a smile finding its way to her lips.

Jack dropped his foot from his bent knee and stood up, taking a step closer. Spreading his hands on his sides, he grinned broadly. “The one an’ only, luv!”

To Jack’s utter surprise, Elizabeth closed the space between them and threw her arms around him, hugging him. The friendly action took Jack completely off guard, and all he could do was to blink in surprise. Unaccustomed to such affectionate gestures, he kept his hands raised up so that they wouldn’t touch her, flailing them back and forth rapidly in uneasiness. Will watched this with an amused smirk, knowing Elizabeth was probably the first person ever to hug Jack Sparrow. Captain Jack Sparrow, he corrected himself almost automatically, feeling even more amused.

“I’m so glad to see you again, Jack,” Elizabeth smiled as he let go of him, not in the least bit put off by his lack of response to the hug.

Jack nodded once, still somewhat flummoxed by the impromptu hug. “Apparently,” he finally answered, and the typical smirk found its way back on his lips. “Miss Swann, I didn’t expect to find you frolicking around with men at this late hour, I’m simply scandalized!”

Elizabeth laughed, shaking her head. Truth be told, she had missed him. Life in Port Royal had been rather mundane and boring ever since Jack Sparrow had sailed away with his ship. “With my fiancé, thank you very much,” she corrected, smiling.

“Well, since you’re on such… intimate terms with each other, can I ask you something…” Jack started, leaning a bit closer to Elizabeth, “…Is Will a eunuch or not?”

Elizabeth blinked, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. Will flushed red, spluttering. “Jack!”

“What?!” Elizabeth exclaimed at last.

“Ah, so not yet that intimate, I see. Or is it a secret? I’m very good at keeping ‘em,” Jack convinced with a smirk as Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at him.

“And to think for a moment I actually thought it was good to see you,” Will muttered under his breath, but Jack heard him nonetheless.

“Now Will, I only pick on those I like,” Jack replied glibly, rolling his wrists.

Will sighed, closing his eyes for a short moment. He had almost forgotten how vexing associating with Jack could be. “What are you doing here in the first place, Jack?” He finally asked patiently, stepping close to Elizabeth and wrapping an arm around her middle casually.

“What way is that to greet an ol’ mate, Will?” Jack asked, feigning to be hurt. “It breaks my heart, it really does,” he went on, pressing his palm over his chest.

“So you have one, after all?” Will countered, a quick smile quirking his lips.

Jack’s brows climbed up to his red bandanna, and he grinned broadly, flashing his golden teeth. “Will, me lad,” he started appreciatively, “You’ve got yourself a sense of humour. This love-thing is obviously becoming you.”

Will smiled, but returned the conversation back to its original track. “Seriously, Jack. You’re still a wanted man, and if they catch you they will slip the noose around your neck faster than you can say ‘savvy’.”

Jack smirked amusedly at Will’s choice of metaphor, but made no comment on it. “Yes, if they catch me,” he drawled smugly instead. “But they won’t.”

Will sighed quietly, remembering now how difficult Jack could be. Before he managed to answer, Elizabeth spoke up. “Where is your crew? Don’t tell me they’re wandering around here as well,” she said, looking at Jack expectantly.

Jack snorted. “Hardly! They’re all aboard. The Pearl’s anchored a good distance away in a small bay. No one will find her there. Out of sight, out of mind,” Jack quipped, smiling pleasantly.

“Which brings us back to the point; what are you doing here?” Will persisted, and Jack rolled his eyes.

“I came to see my mates, alright? ‘S been five months since I last saw you, and I hear tell you two are tying the knot tomorrow, so to say…” Jack trails off meaningfully, and Elizabeth and Will had the decency to look somewhat ashamed.

Sensing their discomfort, he smothered his grin and went on in conversational tone, placing his forefinger on his chin thoughtfully. “Now, I was wondering whatever happened to my invitation to the said occasion, perchance it got lost on the way to me. After all, you of course did send me one, aye?”

“Jack, we…” Elizabeth started, but stopped uncertainly, struggling to find the correct words. Will winced slightly as Jack explained them his thoughts, looking at the ground in discomfort.

“Ah-a…” Jack finally said in low voice, sliding his finger slowly under his chin and pursing his lips. “You didn’t.”

Elizabeth looked at him pleadingly, hurrying to explain. “Jack, you must believe that we would have loved to have you there tomorrow, but surely you understand why we couldn’t invite you! Commodore Norrington and everybody is going to be there and--”

“You wouldn’t want a pirate to disgrace the ceremony, I savvy,” Jack nodded solemnly, trying his hardest to keep his face emotionless instead of grinning mindlessly at Elizabeth’s distressed tone.

“No!” Both Will and Elizabeth denied simultaneously, Elizabeth stomping her foot on the ground for effect.

“You’d be arrested and hanged if you so much as showed your face there! It would be too risky!” Will cried, frowning.

Jack decided to let them off the hook, smirking. “Aye, I know, I know. You two should have seen your faces,” he said, his smirk growing into full blown grin.

“Jack!” Elizabeth cried in anger, realizing that he was typically just goading them.

“Jack…” Will growled, glaring at him.

“What?” He asked innocently, hands spread. “I was just foolin’ you, relax. Though, there is something very appealing in the idea of appearing there tomorrow right under Norrington’s nose…” Jack mused mischievously.

“Jack, no!” Both Will and Elizabeth shouted simultaneously again.

Jack quirked an eyebrow. “Listen to you two, you’re like Siamese twins or something. Maybe getting married ain’t such a grand idea, after all. Before you know it, you’ll be wearing dresses and having tea parties, Will.”

Will and Elizabeth shot Jack aggravated looks, and he raised his hands in placating gesture. “There you go again. It’s kind of unnerving…”

Now it was Elizabeth’s turn to raise her brow. “Captain Sparrow? Unnerved? That’s hardly a believable combination.”

“Yeah, well. I’ve been slightly unnerved by you ever since you burned all the rum,” Jack retorted, slightly scornful edge in his tone indicating he still hadn’t forgiven her for that stunt.

Elizabeth smiled feebly, shrugging, and Will smirked. Jack figured Elizabeth has obviously been blabbering about that to him. Of course. Rolling his dark eyes, Jack took a step towards the door, thinking this little visit has come to an end.

“It’s been a pleasure to be sure, and I know you reluctantly part from my charming company, but I’m afraid I must be going,” Jack said, starting to sway towards the door. He never meant to linger anyway, just to stop by and congratulate. Which, he realized, he hadn’t yet done. Suddenly remembering his gift, Jack started to feel his pockets, finally locating the small box from his left coat pocket.

“Ah, almost forgot. Here you go,” Jack said simply, tossing the small box to Will who caught it deftly. Turning around and stepping up to the door, he turned back around with raised forefinger. “Do take care of each other. And be nice to ol’ Jack, don’t wait so long for the next meeting, savvy?”

Will and Elizabeth shared a quick glance, and faced Jack with smiles. “Savvy,” they agreed.

Jack nodded once, slowly. “That is really unnerving,” he mumbled. “I’ll see you two around. Till then, look lively, mates.” Jack grinned, took his hat in one hand and placed it over his chest and bowed. The beads in his dark dreadlocks jingled gently at the move, and just as abruptly as he had re-appeared, Captain Jack Sparrow vanished again.

Elizabeth looked after the closed door for a moment, smiling. Glancing at Will, she voiced her question. “Do you think we’ll see him again?”

Will grinned, looking her in the eyes. “This is Jack Sparrow we’re talking about. I’m certain of it.”

Captain Jack Sparrow,” Elizabeth corrected with a grin, kissing her fiancé quickly on the lips. “What is that?” She asked curiously, nodding towards the box Jack gave Will.

“Let’s find out,” Will replied, opening the small box, only now realizing it rattled slightly when shaken. As he opened the lid, Elizabeth gasped softly at the contents; several smooth, flawless pearls, all similar in size; both black and white in colour. There was also a folded piece of parchment in the box, and Will picked it up, unfolding it.

The short note was written in surprisingly neat handwriting, the ink slightly smudged at some points by, most likely, sea water.


Good Mister Turner and the fair Missus Turner,

I swear on pain of death, these beauties should not be cursed. But if such unfortunate occurrence should happen, I truly had nothing to do with it. Will, if you let your better half get kidnapped again, you know where to find me.

CAPTAIN J. Sparrow


Will laughed as he read the note to Elizabeth, and she smiled fondly. Never mind what was said about Jack Sparrow, he would always be their dear friend.

“Come on,” Will told Elizabeth with a tender smile after closing the box. “I’ll walk you home.”


* * * * *

Jack Sparrow smiled slightly to himself as he leisurely rowed the small boat towards the cove where his lady was waiting, probably anxious to be sailing the clear waters of the Caribbean. He thought about the wedding gift he’d given to the young couple only moments ago in the smithy, and the note inside. He had mulled over the note for hours, thinking about the right words for two of his best friends. Aside from Gibbs and possibly Anamaria, he’d never really had any friends in the true sense of the meaning before, and thought long and hard of something meaningful to say.

He'd never really been good at expressing his honest feelings with words, as talkative and glib as he usually was. Finally, he had just settled for the roundabout promise that they could turn to him in trouble, something he hoped they knew but also something he doubtlessly would never say to them aloud. That was enough, and Jack knew Will and Elizabeth would understand the true meaning of the light-hearted sentence. With the bottles of rum stored in the Pearl’s hold on his mind, he started to hum his favourite song softly under his breath, smile pulling the corner of his mouth.

“We’re devils and black sheep and really bad eggs, drink up me ‘earties, yo ho…”


THE END

Thank you for reading. Drinks all around. :)